Falling for you
by WhenLegoBricksWontWork
Summary: After Dan tweets about his little escalator accident, Phil finds out it was a little more than a graze. But when Dan goes to hospital for other issues, he meets someone that changes his life... forever. Danisnotonfire love story :)
1. Chapter 1

_**Dan had just fallen down some escalators, but the tweet didn't show the extent of his injurys.**_

"PHIL" dan cried has he hobbled though the door of there London apartment. "PHHILLLLLL HEELLLPPPP" the sound of footsteps clattering down the stairs filled the slicence.

"dan what's... HOLY SHIT WHAT HAPPEND" phil cried as he set eyes on dans broken and brusied body.

"I fell" dan said as his flatmate scurried over to help him sit down, pain shot though his body.

"yeah I saw, but, your arm, not like this" phil said in confusion. Dans face as rather unharmed, but his 3/4 length trousers showed his rather battered legs, blood stained though his t-shirt, and his hands looked like they'd been put though a grater of some sort. The laces to his favorate shoes had been ripped and his ankles we're black and blue from bruising. "why didnt you call me you fool" phil shouted as he went to get a cloth and some ice.

"I didn't want to bother you" dan said with a sigh.

"bother me, it wouldn't have been a bother to come pick you up" phil said returning from the kitchen with a bowl of water and a flannel, he has a small bag of tick tucked under his shoulder, "here" he said handing dan the ice bag.

"thanks" dan said looking down at his swelling ankles. "Sorry"

"sorry, sorry for what, you didnt do anything wrong." phil laughed as he passed the damp flannel to dan.

"Yeah but im still sorry."

"Oh shut up." phil said smiling. "oh yeah this came for you today" Phil said passing dan a box. With that, phil stood up and said " do you need any help getting upstairs"

"No i should be fine"

"okay, night dan, hope you feel better"

"nighhhtttt phiill" Dan said picking up a pair of scissors.

_****Okay guys this is where you come in, tell me if you want this to be Phan, i mean i would but everytime i came online to read a danisnotonfire fanfiction it was almost all phan. Do you want Dan to have a girlfriend, whats in the box. looking forwards to reading anycomment :) 3 chow for now! -Emily****_


	2. Chapter 2

**hello people. I decided to give phil a girlfriend and dan yes is going to get one :) But were going to have the drama between Dan and Phil's girlfriend before we get to that, but I want you to know I'm in my last year of high school so I will have a lot of work. But I will try update even if t just a small chapter okay :) anywaysssss here we go.**

As Phil walked up the mini stairs to his room be help a buzz in his pocket. He pulled out his phone and look at the message preview.

Petra- I don't know where you are but I'm leaving... I hope your okay but you could have text me...

Phil's eyes widened, shit, Petra. He instantly turned round and dashed towards the door, passing Dan still sat on the sofa.

"where are you" were the only words dan could get out before phil was out the door. Phil sprinted down the street, he crossed a road then stood dead still for a moment outside a building, he paused, tuck a deep breath and stepped to the buzzer. *BUZZ* 3 seconds later there was a crackle and then

"hello"

"Petra it's me, phil, shit I'm so sorry I lost track of time then"

" wow wow don't worry, seriously come on up" them there was another buzz as the main door was opened. Phil pulled the door and walk up to the lift.

When he got out the lift he walked to the second door and knocked, it flew open, a slightly short girl stood there smiling, "Finally" she said

"I am sooooo sorry, seriously" Phil said as he walked though the door. Petra was a small girl she had brown hair with a slight tinge of red running though it, it was naturally strait but she had it in a messy bun on the top of her hair, she was usually called Petite Petra, because of how short and thin she was. Phil kissed her on the cheek as she shut the door behind him. He pulled his phone out his pocket to call dan and tell him he might not be coming home so he needed to lock up. As he did this Petra walked though to the kitchen dragging phil by his wrist. The only tough phil had was 'this is going to be fun'

Okay guys :) ttfn


	3. Chapter 3

Dan put down the phone after phil explained himself. He was still sat om there sofa with the box on his lap. He looked round, the room felt empty, the whole place felt empty. He stood up, momentarily forgetting the pain, then sat back down instantly. Attempt 2, this time he pulled himself up on the table next to him, making sure that when he walked, he was always close to an object for support. He turned the key in the door and flung the keys into the small show blow next to him... 'What to do now' he thought. He wasn't tired, he wasn't hungry, he didn't need a shower. Hmmmm. Vyou? Yes, yes vyou. He hobbled upstairs, getting a bag of Maltesers on the way up. He sat down on his bed and pulled out his laptop. 9,864 unanswered question. "Seriously" dan sighed

"okay question one"

/do you have a girlfriend\ "nope, I love being single" dan lied.

/llama? Why?\ "I don't even know, there just cool"

/do you like girls\ "I do like girls indeed"

/would you give me a...\ "Wooow, no way not answering that one"

/would you date a fan\ "yeah, why not"

After about 4 hours of questions and another 2 on skyrim, he thought it might be time to go to bed, /goodnight twitter :) sleep well\ he tweeted and flew onto the bed. He instantly felt lonely, it wasn't like no one liked him, he had girls screaming over him. But, they weren't the right person. The fans were nice and sweet and sometimes really hot but that didn't have the sparkle that his ex's had. As he closed his eyes to sleep he felt a small drop of water on his face, his throat tightened and he found himself silently sobbing into his hands, why couldn't he find someone to love I'm for him and not danisnotonfire! Then from nowhere there was a massive bang on the door. The front door? Dan shot up, he instantly picked up his guitar hero and walk out with it over his shoulder, adrenalin ran though his body, he couldn't feel the pain in his ankle anymore... "Daaannn" shouted a voice, a familiar voice. Phil! "Dan let me in" dan ran up to the door plunging the key into the lock and turning it swiftly

"Phil... It ? Petra? Good night you said... I thought that ment wild sex until 3 am then passing out on the floor? What!"

"oh no we had the wild sex but she's leaving at 6 tomorrow and she said she wanted to leave like 5 and I wood have to get up, so..."

" well okay" dan paused "good sex"

"yes" phil laughed. But then, there was worry on his face, pure worry. Dan saw this and instantly reacted with

"shit phil, you did use something right"

"YES I'm to stupid" phil shouted, a little bit offended, "but..."

"she didn't enjoy it, you didn't enjoy it"

"do you know what it doesn't matter" phil smiled

"no seriously phil" dan insisted

" no dan leave it"

Phil never snapped back at dan... Ever. Dan watched as phil dropped is bag and walked up stairs... "night" dan shouted.

"what ever" phil mumbled turning out the lights leaving dan in the dark.


	4. Chapter 4

**I really hope you like it, please comment because makes me feel good about writing :)**

As phil walked into his room he heard dan talking on the phone to somebody, he didn't know who, he didn't really care. He just wanted the world to swallow him up. He hadn't had a good night. He new there was something wrong with Petra, she wasn't petite anymore, her stomach... Wasn't the same. He was scared for once. What if she was pregnant. What he fuck would happen then. He didn't want to confront her if she had just gained weight, but the thing was that Petra never EVER gained weight... His heart was racing. His head was spinning. He new dan needed him now more that ever. His life was all over the place and Phil could see him suffering. But he had his own problems.

*Knock*

"Phil"

"yeah come in"

"hey, I didn't mean to upset you. I'm really sorry."

"no it's my fault dan... Ive just got a lot on my plate"

"tell me about it" dan smiled gripping onto the right sleeve of his hoodie with his hand. Phil look down. "anyway night" dan said turning round

"Dan." phil said, he didn't even know he was speaking it just came out "do you need to talk"

Dan paused, terrified of phil, terrified he would find out his secret, "no I'm fine mate" he smiled

"okay... Night" phil signed. The door shut behind dan. Phil pulled phone out his pocket. There were 3 texts from Petra. He slid the unlock bar and typed in the code,

'you seemed off tonight' 'have I don't something wrong' 'we need to talk'

"oh god" phil said into his hands. He decided to ignore the text till the morning and hope for the best. He looked over to the wall of photos, there was him and dan, him and Petra, him and fans, and family. But in the middle there was a small note tapped to the wall. He new the more off by heart. He walked over to it and ran his find gets down the edge, 'Phil, don't worry if your sad. Just look up and smile.' he gave the small note a tug and it came away from the wall, he went over to the window and looked strait up into the grey sky, there were no stars, just light pollution, but he look up anyway and smiled. "Love you gran", phil whispered pushing the paper on to his chest. And in those short moments all Phil's worries and troubles went away, he walked over to his bed and flopped down. He closed eyes for a moment and before e new it he was asleep, fully clothed, lying on his bed with a note in his hand.


	5. Chapter 5

**When phil woke up it was morning, it was light but only slightly he looked round his room, he panicked when he saw that the small note on his wall had gone but remember it was in his hand all of 2 seconds later. His head was still spinning, he had had something to drink last night at Petra's, but couldn't remember what. He remembered dan. He remembered the potential baby. His head was still spinning but not from the booze. He stood up and changed into pyjamas, he decided a duvet day was in order. He scooped up his bedding and made his pay to the living room. As he came out his door e Hurd a noise in the bathroom, it sounded like heaving breathing. He went and put his ear to the door. Heavy breathing and silent crying. The cry when you don't want people to know there's something wrong. **

"Dan" phil said.

"GO AWAY"

-DAN-2-hours-earlier-

I didn't sleep, I couldn't, not after how phil acted. I was terrified he knew. I pulled my right sleeve up. Scars and dried blood covered my arm, not from the fall, from me. I did it. Me. I was scared. About 8 months ago I didn't know where I was going, I cold see the swirl of devastation and pain. I scratched at first with a small compass, the word BYE into my arm. But then things got worse and I started really cutting. I used my small perry knife my dad got me when I moved out, it wasn't overly sharp but it did what I wanted. I thought I would made me feel more secure. But... It didn't. So I looked down at my scarred arm, I started to feel insecure again, my head hurt and my chest was tight, my breathing was out of control and I didn't know what to do.

-3rd-Person-

Dam stood up and walked over to his cheat of draws and picked up the small perry knife in the bottom draw. He walked though his room into his bathroom opposite phils room, he made sure he was quite so not to wake him. He went in, shut the door and locked it behind him. Dan didn't do it strait away, self harm. He would normally just sit there and think for a few minuets. But this time he was under pressure, phil would be up in a few ours and it would normally take about an hour to dry up enough to be able to put something like a shirt over it. He pulled the knife upto the inside of his right arm. He didn't want to build on old scares so he found a small patch of skin that had been untouched. And he started, the pain wasn't there for moment or two, then it started the pain. It was familiar and he associated it with being free. With being... Dan.

He kept digging, cutting round his old scars. Cutting round his old story, every 'session' of self harm had a story behind it, he remember when he hit his wrists that was the day he herd phil having sex with Petra for the first time, he didn't love phil and they'ed talked about sex, but dan had always seen phil as quite innocent, and when he herd him 'doing' Petra he found it hard to control himself. In the past, when Phil bought his girlfriend to the flat in Manchester, dan would keep out of the way, there would be 'the text of warning' phil would send before he got intimate with them and dan would leave for a few hours. Giving them some space. But the first time he herd them that seemed to be going at it pretty wildly, loudly and it was just weird. Phil thought dan was out so he wasn't shy either. And dan couldn't help but start cutting. Unfortunately when he hit the wrist it caught the vein causing him to HAVE to put pressure on it. That was painful. But not as painful as hearing Petra...

And so, he was sat on the toilet crossed legged cutting away, when all of a sudden

"Dan"... It was phil. Dans instant reaction was

"GO AWAY" 'go away... Seriously' he thought. He grabbed the black towel from the floor pushing it against his arm causing him to wince and suck in air though his teeth.

"LET ME IN RIGHT NOW I KNOW WHAT YOUR DOING" Phil shouted.

"SORRY PHIL BUT FUCK OFF" dan shouted, but before he new it the door had swung open and dan bent over his arm, lying on his lap. "FUUCKKK OFFFF"...

DUNDUNDUNNNNN :) anyway we'll leave it there tonight guys, comment follow :)


	6. Chapter 6

Dan stood up with the black towel drapped over his arm, even though phil couldn't see the blood on the towel it had soaked though into his t-shirt and all over his hands and arms. It started to drip onto the floor. Phil just stood there... Stunned. He knew dan had problems with self harm, but seeing it first hand was a completely different thing. Dan turned round, shielding phil eyes from the blood, but the drops of blood had turned into small puddles now. Phil grabbed the towel off the rail and ran over to dan, now sat on the floor cuddling his bleeding arm. Phil crouched down next to him and slowly pulling the blood soaked towel away from his arm and replacing it with his fresh one. He saw the tear drops smeared all over dans face and tried to wipe with away with some tissue.

"why dan"

"PLEASEE, fuck off" dan whined, breathing erratically

" no" phil said sternly "I'm not letting you ruin your life"

Dan was silent. Phil stood back up, and walked over to the sink, he ran a clean flannel under the tap and went back over to his friend. Dan had blood on his left arm(the one that wasnt cut) legs and some round his face where he had clamped his mouth shut when phil burst in. Phil slowly started wiping the blood away from dans body and face. Every now and then flinch with pain. After phil finished he put his hands on dans upper arm and guided him to the toilet, he didn't want to see the cuts so he picked up the knife and said,

"I'm going to go get something to bandage it" And walked out. Dan looked up, and then pulled back the towel which was blood soaked by now. Then without thinking about it he walked over to the sink and ran his arm under the warm water. It hurt more then last time, last time he'd cut that deep it had been left to dry up, but this time it was being filled with water, and the pain was terrible. Phil returned moments later with a bandage. He passed it to dan and left the bathroom.

"phil" dan said weakly, "ThankYou" dan knew in his heart it wouldn't be the last time he self harmed, he just knew he would have to keep out of Phil's site.

Phil walked into his room, and realised how self centred he'd been over the lat few months. He decided he had to face his problems and picked up his phone. He unlocked it and went to his favourite contact list. Petra. The ringing t,e was long but she finally picked up. Before she could get a word In edges as he said

"are you pregnant". There was a long pause. It felt like a ear to phil.

"yes. Yeah I am" as much as phil thought he was prepared for this news he still dropped the phone in utter shock, somehow he thought it had all been in his head, but it hadn't... He might be, a dad.


	7. Chapter 7

*****3 days have passed*****

After Petra told phil the news, he hadn't contacted her at all, he'd been focused on dan, who had spent most of his days sat in the living room rubbing his hands over his arms, that phil was determined to re-bandage every day. He had tried talking about it to dan but every time he did he ended up getting a door slammed in his face. But secretly Dan knew he had to talk to him about it some time. That morning he woke up, his arms were quite painful and he knew he should have to have some pain killers, so he pulled himself out of bed and walked over to his door, suddenly he herd voices, it was phil, and Petra? I didn't sound like her, the voice was croaky, like they had a bad throat. Or maybe they're been crying he couldn't tell, then he knew it was Petra when she said

"Phil it's a baby, an actual baby" Dan was shocked, a baby, phil was going to be a... Dad. As much as he liked the idea of his best friend having a kis he knew full well that he would never cope, he can't even wake up before 10 without the idea of catching a train or going on holiday, let alone getting up every 2 hours to feed a child. He didn't even know that him and Petra were super serious. Well it's obviously not planned. But still, dan always saw phil as the responsible type, not the type to get a girl pregnant. From outside the door he herd footsteps, he peeked round the door and saw Petra running down the hall way and phil chasing after her. When they were out of site he came out from his bedroom and wondered down the stairs and into the lounge, he thought e had herd Petra leave but suddenly she was standing in the door way.

"hi" dan said awkwardly.

"hey dan" Petra smiled, dan bought his hand up to his head and Petra caught glance of his arms that hadn't been bandaged that day and were looking quite painful. The smile fell off her face and dan didn't understand until his mind turned on, and his arm shot down behind his back. Dan forced a smile then left the room with his head down.

He walked into the kitchen where phil was stood over the work surface with his head in his hands.

"make her go we need to talk" were the only words that came out of dans mouth until he shot upstairs and slammed the bedroom door.

-Hey I know I haven't unloaded for a few days :( Soorrrrry I just don't have much motivation :) gonna try get into it though

COMMENT AND FOLLOW IF YOU LIKED IT-


	8. Chapter 8

**Phil stood in the kitchen with confusion, what did Dan want to talk about, it couldn't have been his arms, it was never his arms. And he didn't know about Petra and the baby yet... Did he? **

Dan mean while was stood in his room, pacing up and down. He felt the urge, his arms burning, his head going crazy. He knew what he would have don't this time 4 days ago, but phil knew. And phil checked every day. He knew he couldn't, but his stress levels were so high and he just wanted to scream. No he couldn't... He herd the front door shut and he assumed it was just him and phil in the house. Dan threw himself onto the bed. Then there was a knock at the door

"Phil?" Dan said as the door creaked open.

"No, Petra" Dans face changed immediately, he panicked and grabbed his hoodie from the side of his bed, throwing it over his back and covering his arms before she got a chance too see them. "Look Dan Phil's just popped to the shop and I just wanted to too tell you, I think you need to back away. Me and Phil will have a lot to talk about and well, I saw your arms but that's not Phil problem and well."

"Fuck off Petra" Dan sighed with a forced smile, he was shaking his head.

"No Dan..."

"NO PETRA FUCK OFFFFFFFFFF" Dan shouted before she could get another word out. "My arms are NON of your business, I don't a shit if your pregnant okay I really fucking don't. Now go."

"yeah but"

"GO" Dan shouted, from his bed, he didn't stand up. She just turned round and left. Down the stairs and out the front door. Dan sighed and looked down. A small tear rolled down his eye. Phil was out, he was alone, Petra was right, he was burden to Phil. Dan stood up and walked into the kicker. He opens the top cupboard and pulled out a box of strong sleeping pills that a Phil was prescribed a few months ago, he slipped the packet out of the box and popped out all 12, he grabbed the bottle of Malibu on the counter and swigged, he held it in his mouth for a moment while he popped in 4 pills then swallowed, another swig and another 4 pills, and one final swig. The first time he had been able to take pill really. He slumped down the fridge. He didn't know it would take for them to hit his system. But he picked up the knife from te counter and cut, deeper and deeper. But his eyes started to blur, he started to close his eyes, he felt sick, he wanted to sleep forever, then his hearing went fuzzy an it was muffled, he herd someone come in. And then there was shout. His eyes flicker, and then they snapped shut. He couldn't lift his arm... Was he dead, was he finally free?


	9. Chapter 9

**As phil opened the door he knew something was wrong, walked into he kitchen to find Dan sprawled across the floor, he didn't know what was happening, **

"Dan" with said, confused, there was no response "DAN" he shouted, he looked at his arms then the counter. He saw the empty pill packet, then he stared at Dan for a moment. The Malibu bottle stained with his blood. Phil dropped the shopping bag and ran to the phone. He dialled 999 "Ambulance now!" she shouted down the phone reciting there address then dropping the phone, and running over to Dan. His eyes were shut, he shuck him by the shoulders but there was no movement, he tried to check his pulse but there was blood everywhere. Then there was a knock at the door, Phil stood up, his hands had blood all over them. He flung the door open expecting to see paramedics, someone to help. But it was Petra.

"Hey Phil" he said sweetly "what's on you hands"

"Dan needs help" he said running back to the kitchen. Petra rolled her eyes, expecting Dan to be having a nose bleed or something. But as she walked into the kitchen her face dropped and she screamed. Someone pushed her to one side. Her head was spinning, did she do this, did she make him do it.

-time-jump-Phil-POV-

I thought he was dead, they rushed him to hospital and I followed in my car, Petra didn't want to go, she seemed to want me to stay with her. But I couldn't, it was Dan. My best friend. On the way to the hospital I cried. I cried because I didn't want anything to happen to MY best friend.

When I reached the hospital I had to park, i prayed that he wouldn't wake up with out me being there, I would hate for him to wake up with no one there. I raced though the hospital doors just wanting to see Dans face... Alive.

"Dan Howell" I said to the lady sat behind the desk, she looked up at me. She slowly typed his name into the computer, it tuck all my self control not to scream for her to hurry up. The looked back up at me,

"Third floor... 29th room" she signed. The second she finished I ran for the lifts.

-3rd-person-

Phil walked up to the 29th room. He pushed open the door to show two nurses wiping Dan's arms down. While a doctor seemed to be doing something with a tube. Phil's legs started moving without him realising, they moved him into the room. "Oh Dan" he whispered, bringing his hand to his mouth. He was in pure shock.

"You know him?" the nurse asked

"Yeah...yeah he's my best friend." Phil mumbled, still in shock. "My best friend"

-AWWWW :( I know this chapter is terrible written but im TIRED :( sorry 3

REVIEW AND FOLLOW 3-


	10. Author Note

**Hey guys :/ that last review blew my confidence away and i'm feeling a bit self conscious... Sorry I might stop but... I don't know? **


	11. Chapter 10

Phil looked over at the doctor, "Is he going to be okay... Please tell me he's going to be okay" Phil said, his voices was weak and he was almost crying.

"We're pumping his stomach, and his arms will be quite scarred. But I think he'll make it" The doctor said... But he didn't sound convinced. Phils head was spinning, he needed to sit down. Hi staggered to the chair in the corner of the room.

"When will he wake up" Phil said staring at the doctor.

"Unsure, soon though" The doctor said in a comforting tone. The nurse looked over to Phil, and smiled. But Phil just placed his head in his hands, trying to come back get his head round the situation.

****************

Hours passed, Dan was still asleep when the doctors and nurses left him and Phil alone. Phil stood up and walked over to the bed. "Dan... Dan..." Phil whispered. Dans eyes flickered. "Dan" Phil repeated, a little louder.

"Phil" Dan crocked. His throat was sore. "Where am I" Dan asked, falling back down to earth with bang. His eyes were filled with tears, he tried to sit up, but pain shot though his body. "Phil"

"Its okay Dan, Im here" He said sitting on the bed next to him.

"What happened... Where am I"

"Your in hospital, You..." Phil paused. Thinking about how to approach the situation. "You tried to commit... Suicide" Dan Snapped his eyes shut letting the tear that were building inside them escape. "Oh Dan." Phil said. "Why"

"Petra came and she, well he told me I'm a burden to you..." Dan said rolling over to look away from Phil. Phils face was utter shock. 'Petra... That's why she was all weird...' Phil thought

"Dan I am so sorry, I so sorry she made you feel like you had to do this to yourself. She wont come near you again, I promise."

"But your having a baby with her Phil."

"How did you know about that. And that doesn't she has to be in the house." Phil started to get angry but refused to let Dan see it. "Your know it's Thursday... Maybe you should tell the danosours your not uploading..."

"I have something to upload. I just need you to go do it for me." Dan said. He wrote his password on a piece of paper and gave Phil the location on the video. Phil was reluctant to leave him, but he insisted.

When Phil returned home, he found Petra sat on the sofa looking quite sorry for herself, "YOU GOD AWFUL BITCH" Petras face changed. Her mouth fell open "GET OUT..."

"Phil..." She tried to say before she was cut off

"IF YOU COME NEAR ME OR DAN AGAIN, GOD KNOWS WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN. MY BEST FRIEND IS LYING IN A HOSPITAL BED, LOOKING LIKE HE'S ON DEATHS DOOR BEFORE YOU WANTED MORE FUCKING ATTENTION" Phil paused "how could you"

"I... I wasn't thinking"

"He told me what you said. His arms have EVERYTHING to do with me"

"Im sorry" Petra whispered tears rolling down her face.

"Just... Go" With that, she walked to the door, looking back once. Then Phil was alone and he could cry. He walked into dans room and logged onto his computer, found the video.

-How not to get arrested-

The Title made Phil smile. Then he rushed back to the hospital. But when he got to the room, Dan wasn't there. Phil started to panic, he ran up to the desk and asked where he was.

"Phil, Over here"he herd a voice call from behind him

When he turned round to see him sat on a ward, he wasn't in a private room anymore. "Christ Dan, I didn't have a clue where you were. I did it, I uploaded it"

"Was she there..."

"Yeah, but I told her to go"

"Have you been crying"

"No?" Phil was a terrible liar. But his friend just smiled and let it lie.

- Thanks for the Reviews. But if you dont have anything nice to say dont say it please :) -


	12. Chapter 11

PhilPOV

They kept Dan in hospital for 4 days, on the 3rd a doctor came to talk to us, he talked about Dan going to a 'safety' house. Where he would get counseling and would be monitored daily. The next day we went to visit it and Dan got accessed, then he was escorted back to the hospital and I went home. I didn't know how long he would be in there but I hoped it wasn't long. The house felt empty without him... Because it was. The next day I went to pick him up and take him to Clinchways, the safety house, even though I couldn't drive him I did follow in my car and get him settled into him new room. As we walked down the corridors to the rooms I looked though big windows, some looking out onto the gardens, some looking into activity rooms. When we approached his room Dan looked back at me with a worried look on his face, the man pulled the key up to the door and swung it open. It was quite blank really there was one chest of draws and bed, the bedding was folded on the top of the bed. It was bare minimum. The Dan led us in then said

"Now you unpack your things" Pointing toward the bag of Dan stuff I was holding, we had already had it searched for any 'dangers' like razors or pills. "Yes unpack your stuff and then come to the meeting room just down the corridor to the left" With that he left and shut the door behind him. I looked over to Dan who was sat on the bed.

"You okay." I asked "It wont be to bad Dan, You'll be home before you know it and your getting help." He looked up at me, and gave me a faint smile.

"Have you spoken to Petra" He asked.

"She's texted me but, no not really"

"You... Your should call her. I mean if she's carrying your baby the-"

"No, not after what she did." His head dropped again, like a child being told off. He rubbed his hand over his right arms "Does it hurt"

"Yeah, but.. Not as painful as it is to see my best friend throw away his child over me"

"Dan I'm not throwing away my child, I mean we will probably sort out the baby thing when we get there"

"Sure" Dan said, standing up and taking the bag out of my hands and walking over to the chest of draws, he pulled out his usual t-shirts, jeans and some joggers, he hung his hoodie on the back of the door and put his toothbrush and tooth paste on the sink. In the corner. Then he looked over to me, I had made his bed up, putting the bed sheet on and duvet cover.

"Okay, down the hall to the right"

"Left, god Phil its only been like 10 minuets" He laughter

"Meow" I smiled and he walked out into the corridor and down to a door saying 'Meeting Room Please Knock'

So we knocked on the door and were let in by the man who had taken up to Dans room and a woman. They just went over some rules with Dan and talked about visiting times, they have Dan a time table and then we were shown round again. It all seemed quite surreal and it made me feel uncomfortable.

Then it came to saying goodbye. I knew I was going to see him again in about 5 days but it was really upsetting. As we approached the visitors door I looked back at him, he looked at me "Now don't do anything stupid okay" I said fighting back the tears

"I wont" He smile and pulled me into a quick hug. I pulled away and walked upto the door, I turned back and smiled as I was let out by the woman on the desk. Then there were another set of doors. When I got to the car park my throat got tight and I felt like I was going to cry, but I just had to keep strong, for Dan. MY BFF.


	13. Chapter 12

DanPOV

After Phil left, I turned round and walked back to my room. All I wanted to do was run after him and ask him to take me home so we would watch Buffy The Vampire Slayer together and eat maltesers, but I couldn't, even if I wanted to. The doors were locked. I was locked in... And he was locked out. I went into my rooms and placed all the sheets on the chest of draws. Then I looked into the bottom of the bag. I saw something at the bottom... Some paper. I pulled it out. It was a picture of me Phil Chris and PJ, when we went to E3. And on the back, there was a note

'Phil**(with a line though it)**, Dan don't worry if your sad. Just look up and smile.' it was Phil note from his grandma, it meant so much to him and he had given it to me. I smiled and tucked them under my pillow. I looked round my room again... It felt like a prison. I felt like I had done something wrong and I was being punished... I felt like shit. There was a sudden knock at the door, I practically jumped out my sink.

"Hello" I said standing up from the bed. The door swung open. There was a woman standing there, she smiled at me.

"Hello Daniel, there a meeting for all the new patients, we will be meeting in the '9th meeting session' in about 5 minuets" she looked down at a clipboard.

"Okay" I smiled and look down to the floor, she pulled the door close.

"5 minuets, pull yourself together Dan you can do this." I signed to myself. I looked at myself in the mirror, there was a plastic cover over it so people didn't smash it and start... Cutting. I pulled a brush through my hair and rubbed the crust out of my eyes. I looked... Terrible.

I opened the door and looked left and right, 9th session room... Was that left or right. I decided on left and started to make my way down. 7th Session, 8th session room... Aha, 9th session room, there was a man sat on one of the chairs and a young girl, maybe 2 years younger than me sat on the floor with her legs pulled close to her chest and her arms wrapped round them. She had quite dark brown hair that draped over he knees. She had a set of headphones in and the faint sound of 'The Kids From Yesterday' came from them. Her head was buried in-between the small gap between her chest and her legs. As I walked past, her head popped up and she stared strait at me. They were blue, her eyes, a deep blue. It was quite unusual for a girl with brown hair to have Blue eyes, but they were... Beautiful.

**Please keep reviewing it keeps my confidence highhhhhh :) xxx**


	14. Chapter 13

Hey people :) I just wondered, if you wanted my to start a second story, carrying on from this point (End of last chapter) and make it a Phan, but, this story isn't going to be a Phan... Maybe you would like to comment asking me to post new chapter in a new story but it being Phan :) x

DanPOV

As our eyes connected I felt something change, I didn't feel terrible, I felt uplifted, I wanted to smile but before I had a chance her eyes broke from mine. I sat myself next to the 30 something old man who was quietly humming to himself. Over the next few minuets more people arrived, some looked tired and unwell and some looked rather normal. But I did feel like people were staring at me. I felt so uncomfortable. Then the woman from before opens the door to the '9th session room'

"Hello, would you like to follow me in" A few people hurried into the room, scuttling like rats and some just plodded, I stood up and looked down at the girl on the floor, she pulled her iPod out of her pocket and looked back up at me, by now, it looked like it was just me and her in the corridor, I didn't have a clue what to do, so I offered my hand to help her up. As I did I saw my bandaged arms, there was a massive red stain all the way down. She took my hand and I pulled her up. Then she saw my arms. Her eyes widened.

"Doesn't that hurt" she said

"Yeah... Do you know where I go?"

"Um I think it's down the halls" she said running her hand though her hair, I saw she too had bandaged arms. I didn't want to stare. "Do you want me to show you" her voise was soft, but it had quite an empty tone to it, like there was something missing.

"Yeah, please" I said. "Im Dan, by the way"

"Poppy" she said walking down the hall towards the medical ward. When we reached the ward she looked up at me "Here you go"

"Thanks Poppy" I said knocking on the door, the door flew open and a rather fat woman looked at me.

"What..." She said with a glare.

"Um, my arms" I said she looked down and dragged me inside by my wrist.

"And you." The rather rude woman asked Poppy.

"Oh I was just showing him here" and with that the door was slammed and I was led over to a chair. When she asked me to sit in. I lowered myself down, a little but worried about what she was going to do to me, she pulled a pair of gloves on and walked over. But she was surprisingly gentle as she unwrapped my sore arms and wiped them down with some gauze and water. It hurt but I refused to let her know. She re-wrapped them and asked me to sign a form.

As I exited ward, I almost tripped over something... Or someone. I looked down to find Poppy sat on the floor

"What is it with you and floors" I said quietly

"Oh nothing, um yeah are your arms okay"

"Yeah there find." I didn't like talking about them to Phil, let alone someone I had only met about 15 minuets ago.

"What do you wanna do" she asked pushing herself off the ground. "The gardens look nice... Right"

"What about that meeting"

"Fuck it. Gardens?" She asked again.

"Yeah okay" I smiled, with that we started to stroll down the corridor toward the back entrance. It was quite an awkward walk, because I didn't want to say anything in front of any other people, but when we got outside I looked over to a Poppy and said, "So, why are you here" I know it was quite a formal question, and quite sudden seeing I didn't even know where she lived or anything but I felt it was needed

"Arms" she said waving them up apothem letting them flop back down "you"

"Yeah arms, and" I paused "Suicide attempt" the moment I said it I wish I hadn't, but we kept strolling down a gravel path until we reached a bench

"How long have you been here" she asked placing herself on the bench

"Um about 2 hours, you?"

"About 2 days"

"How old are you"

"Im 20 in two weeks, you know, love spending my birthday in a mental bin"

"Hey don't look at it like that" I said smiling over her, she looked back and smiled too. Her smile lit p her face and her eyes glistened in the sunlight... All I could think was... Wow!


	15. Chapter 14

Time ticked over and soon it was time for Phil to visit. He pulled up to the safety house 15 minuets before he would be aloud in. He sat in the car for a while, listening to muse and checking his hair. Then he pulled out his phone, 2 texts. He pushed his phone back into his pocked and smiled. 'Dans first at the moment' he though to himself and got out the car. Then he got the shock of his life, Petra was stood meters behind his car

"Phil, come back to me, This baby needs a father" Phil didn't like conflict, so he put his head down and kept walking, "Don't ignore me Phil" She said, grabbing his hand. Phils pace picked up pulling his hand away. She threw herself in front of him pushing his hand against her stomach. He froze. Phil really wanted to say 'yes lets go' but... But what she did. It was wrong. It broke Dan.

"No." he said, and pulled his hand away from her slightly swollen stomach. He walked past her and headed to the door. As he approach the door he herd a car door slam, and he looked back to see Petra leaving in her car.

The automatic doors swung open as he got to the near, he walked inside and the smell attacked his nose, it smelt of lavender. He saw few people sat in the waiting room next room, a few we're reading magazines and some here on there phones, one boy was sat on his own just staring at a poster paths wall, he went and sat down next to the boy who looked about 11 and smiled. The boy just glared back at Phil.

"Would Mr Brook Mrs Dontant, Mr Ellison, Mr And Mrs Jones and Mr Lester please follow me" a woman called out as a door swung open, Phil stood up and watched a few other people gather there stuff, He walked over to the woman, eager to see Dan "You are" She said with a smile

"Phil Lester" Phil said in his serious business voice. The woman checked off the other people from her list and then they were guided though to a big room already full of people, Phil frantically looked round for dan, he was sat by the window with a girl, He looked, better. He was smiling... just. Phil held back for a moment to watch what Dan did when he didn't know he was there. He waited for a moment or two but couldn't contain himself any longer as he sped walked across the room, "Dan, Dan" he said as he approached, Dans face instantly changed from natural to ecstatic.

"Phil you came" he smiled standing up from the window seat to hug his friend, they embraced for a moment then let go, "Is mum here, or Dad."

"Um, no they couldn't make it, but they promised to call."

"Oh... Okay, um Phil this is Poppy" Dan said pointing ver to poppy who was shyly sat on the window seat.

"Hi" Phil said smiling

"Um... H-H-Hi, Dan my mums over there I'll see you later" she said, getting p and scurrying away.

"Did I say something" Phil said sitting down on the window seat with Dan.

"No she's shy, she nervous too" he smiled looking down into his lap

"Hmm does da have a crush" Phil teased laughing quietly

"Shut the fuck up you" span said jolly hitting his arm.

"How are they, your arms." Phil said looking rather concerned. He didn't want to be too forceful.

"Healing" dan said quietly looking over to Poppy who was hugging her mum. "That's why I connect with Poppy, she went though the same shit" Dan looked over to her again, fixated on her blue eyes. She caught him looking and winked at him from over her mothers shoulder, all he could do was smile.

"Yeah, must be nice having someone to talk to, but remember Dan your here to get better not to have sex"

"Who said anything about sex" Dan laughed. But he knew, deep down Phil was right, he was here to get better not start a relationship, but he really really... Liked her.


	16. Chapter 15

DanPOV

Me and Phil spoke for awhile, about all the daily events, how the fan were

'coping' without me and all the other things i was missing out on. Then it was time for him to leave yet again. It was almost the same as the last time. A quick embrace and a goodbye. But it wasnt as emotional, i knew he was going to come back for me. After i saw him get into his car i turned round and walked back though the door into a activity room, there were people reading, some were just sat there staring into space and some watching the tv in the corner, i walked over to a blue armchair and flopped down. I threw my head back and closed my eyes, I started to drift from reality and dream land.

There were sudden shouts coming from down the hall. My eyes flew open, people were running out the door. What was going on. I stood up and poked my head round the door. There was a crowd of people in the hallway outside of Poppy's room. I started to make my way down too see what was going on.

"Someone get help" Help, why help? Then my mind jumped, it was her. I started to run. As i approached the crowd I glanced over people heads, I caught a glimpse of Poppy's long brown hair draped on the floor. As my eyes made the way down her body i saw blood. Before i could say anything i felt someone push me back, i was being dragged away.

"No Dan. Dont look" Jack, another patient at the safty house said. I pushed him away, dying to get to poppy to see what had happened "Dan, No" People here gasping. I pushed them aside. Then I came to the doorway of Poppy's bedroom. Her arms were coved in blood, as was her top and face. I flew to her side.

"Poppy. Poppy What did you do" I cried. There was no response. I grabbed her hand, only to be met with a layer of her blood covering mine. "Oh god" I was suddenly pushed back, as a team of nurses and doctors flooded the room. As I fell backward, I touched something cold. I took it in my hand and then suddenly realised why she wasn't responding. It was small pill bottle... empty. I grabbed a nurse my the shoulder, spinning her round "Look, its empty" She took bottle out of hand and showed the doctors before I was dragged out of the room, I kicked and pulled my arms away from the counsellor who was pulling me out. "LET ME GO" I shouted at the top of my voice. I felt 2 more hands grip my legs and another 2 push me to the floor. Everyone was ushered away, as i was being pinned down in the corridor. "Get me off" I cried, dying to get back to her.

Someone bent down to my face which was now pressed lightly on the floor.

"Dan, Breathe. Stop resisting. Breathe" A calm voice whispered. It was my counsellor James. I took a deep breathe and looked up at him.

"Im calm now get them off me" I sighed. "James."

"Okay, get off him now" James said looking up at the people pinning me down. The pressure started to release and I went to get up. "You cant go in there" James said taking my arm and pulling me lightly.

"But, Poppy. She needs me" I whined.

"Later. You can see her later" He said leading me into one of the session rooms. I glanced back at the room. I herd Poppy's voice cry out in pain. My heart started to race, I pulled myself away from James and took a few steps toward the door.

"Poppy!" I shouted trying to get to her. But James pulled me back. Shutting the door of the session room he had trapped me in and leaning on it. "She needs me for fuck sake."

"She needs you to be safe Dan" I slumped down in one of the chairs, pressing my face into my blood stained hands. "It's going to be okay"

Looked up, "You don't know that. Where are they taking her. What will happen"

My voice had a slight urgency too it.

"They will take her to hospital, you can visit her there. If all is well, she should be back here within a few days, a week at tops"

"I want to go to my room" I said looking strait down to the floor. James looked at me. His face glared down at me.

"I... I can't do that" I looked up, slightly confused.

"What, Why."

"You've had a traumatic experience. Unfortunately, you will have to stay in the ward tonight." I hated the idea of the ward, it was were people who had minor injuries or people who had a shit day slept because they didn't trust them in a room alone. I knew I couldn't protest.

"Fine. But I want to see Poppy tomorrow" I replied grumpily.

"I'll see what I can do" and with that he left. I slumped in the chair and signed. Why me.

:) there you go. Loads of love x


	17. AN-2

Just to let everyone know, im going to be starting up another story, with exactly the same story line, but that one will be Phan :) It's going to start around the time Dan got sent into hospital. Just so were all clear on that, check my channel in a few days and it might be up! X


	18. Chapter 16

The ward was horrid. Someone even got up in the night are started running round shouting. I hated ever second of it, but there was nothings could do. In the morning I got up and went for a shower. The hot water attacked my skin, wiping away all the fears from yesterday. I got out and quickly got dressed. I ruffled a towel over my head, partly drying my hair and a quickly brushed it before I ran my fingers though it so I didn't like a freak.

As I left the bathroom I felt a tug on my jumper, I turned round to see James stood there, he had his keys in his hand and a smile on his face.

"I just got a call from the doctor, you can go visit her for an hour. If you want to?"

"Yes yeah okay" I said running my fingers though my slightly damp hair. We walked though the doors and got in his old car. I pulled the seatbelt over my chest, I suddenly felt claustrophobic and really wanted to get out. But Poppy was waiting for me, and I couldn't let her down. Not again.

When we arrived at the hospital I was desperate to get going and find her. I guess this was how Phil felt, it was horrible, I felt quite guilty. We walked though the wards, searching for Poppy. When we finally found her I had an overwhelming sense of relief that she was alright, Even though she looked dreadful. Her face was pail and her hands her shaking. As I walked over to her James held back giving us some privacy. She looked at me, she half crawled under the covers, like she was ashamed of me seeing her like this.

"Hey you" I said sitting on the bed next to her. Her blue eyes gazed up at me like a venerable puppy. I didn't know what else to say, her hands here still shaking, I look them in mine and pulled them close to my chest. "Its okay. Your going to get though this. We're going to get though this." I was lost for words. Her hands were cold and her bright red nail varnish was chipped.

"I didn't want it to be like this. I wanted to get better"

"But it's not like you didn't try. You will get there. I promise. Im here for you, I know it's hard I do but, just look at me, I'm your knight in shining armor. Here to save you" I said grinning at her. She stared make at me again, she stared right into me, like she was reading an gripping book. Her hands still in mine, her grip had tighter round my hands slightly.

"I love you" She whispered under her breathe. I wasn't at all shocked. I pulled her up and close to my chest, holding her tight to me. I released her hands and the slid behind my back, her arm squeezed round chest, bringing her even closer to me.

"I love you too" I whispered back, I kissed the top of her head. Our embrace was perfection, ours scars fitted into one another. We were... In love. She pulled back, I released my arms from around her waist and she lay back down. I glanced back to James, who was just sat in a chair the other side of the ward. I don't even think he noticed we were there. I reached out for her hand, slotting my fingers in between hers. She looked back up and smiled. Then she winced in pain.

"Fuck, that hurts" I didn't know if it was something I'd done, but she ran her free hand over her thick bandaging.

"How are they, How are you, What's going on" I said with concern.

"I'm coming back tomorrow, but, there keeping me on the ward, I wont get my own room." She looked down, like she'd taken a step back from recovering.

"I spent last night on the ward." I wanted to tell her how it was hell, but if she was going to be staying there, I didn't want to scare her or make her uncomfortable. "It wasn't too bad, The beds are so nice" I smiled at her, I think she could tell it was a lie. I was scared to ask why she did it, I didn't want to push her too far. But I wanted her to know, I did fight for her, that I did try to keep her safe. "Im sorry I wasn't there to help"

"Its not your fault. You couldn't have stopped me. It was mum. She's the reason why. Urg. I don't want to think about it" She rolled over onto her side. I cupped her face with my hand.

"Dan, we have to go" I herd from across the room.

"I have to go, I'll see you tomorrow" She buried her face into the cover, closing her eyes like she wanted to sleep. I bent down and kissed she cheek. "I love you" I whispered into her ear. As I started to walk away, our hands still connected, until the very last second, and then they broke apart.

As we left the hospital, I felt like running back and taking her with me. But I had to be strong. She was going though more than I was, I had to be her rock. I had to keep her steady. I had to keep her safe.


	19. Phan Notice

Yoy peeps, the Phan alternate storyline is up. Enjoy. I will update this on Sunday or Monday :) x


	20. Chapter 17

When we got back to the safety house, I was let into my room. James said I should relax and try get some decent sleep. I flew down on the bed the eyes flickered, wait, I need to pee. Oh for fuck sake. I exited my room and started walking to the toilets. Suddenly I was pulled back from behind and thrown against the wall. There was an arm pushing up too my neck and someone breathing on my face. My eyes were closed, my heart was racing.

"Leave her alone. She's mine." My eyes shot open, to be presented with Max, a thirty-so year old man. "Little slut, I'll make her see what she wants" S.L.U.T, fuck no. I pushed back on the wall, twisting his arm round and pushing it up his back. He instantly released me from the wall setting me free and giving me the chance to push him down to the floor.

"If you go near her, if you touch one hair on her head. You will regret it." What... Did I just say that... I started walking toward the toilet again. My head hurt. What was going on. I looked down there was blood on my hands. I saw poppy at the end on the corridor, she was with max. They were kissing. I turned round and started running the other way. Phil was there.

"Your a sick emo. Why would I be friends with an EMO like you" I started shouting for help. I felt a tap on my shoulder. I swung round, Poppy stood there, she was staring right into my eyes.

"You weren't there for me. Why would I want to you be there. You freak. I hope you cut too deep. I hope you-"

I suddenly woke up, damp with sweat. My eyes shot round the room, they were blurry and I was breathing heavenly. It's okay. Just a dream. I reassured myself. What the fuck. Why was that all in my head. Was I actually crazy. I closed my eyes for a moment. Phils angry face flashed in front of me again. I shivered, and rubbed the sleep out my eyes. I got out of bed and pulled a clean t-shirt on and washed my face with cold water from the sink. I ruffled the hair and made my way to the activity room, walking down the same corridor I had been in a few moments ago in my terrible nightmare. As I walked tough the door I was attacked by a swarm of people.

"Is she okay?"

"Is she coming back?" People were asking, pulling on my arms.

"She's fine. Guys back off" I said calmly. They all signed and walked back to there activities, some just watching tv, some actually doing what looked like work. I looked back into the corridor and shivered again and walked over to the big double doors. I swung one open and walked into the cold October air.

I walked though the gardens for a while, coming to the bench we sat on for a few hours a week before. Perfection. I ran my hand over the top of the bench, pulling off the small layer of frost. It was so cold. Like how my heart felt, without Poppy. Beautiful Poppy


End file.
